find a lovely life

Honoring Past Versions of Yourself

I think we live in a world where we tend to self-correct or erase parts of ourselves just to fit in. When I started FindALovelyLife, it was a way to find my writing voice again. A place to give myself advice when I needed someone to talk to. As the strong friend, the one everyone comes to for advice, I was giving advice to myself here. Learning as I went along with life, I was finding lovely lessons in-between I could share with all of you. A way to feel less lonely and help someone along the way.

There are different versions of me here. Ghosts? Perhaps. I’ve toggled with the idea of whether or not I should audit some posts. Go back and read things I no longer believe or feel that I’ve outgrown that sentiment. The marketing person in me says, yes we should audit and be fresh and new and—the human part of me stops my brain from going any further. We don’t have to reinvent ourselves over and over again for the entertainment of others. We don’t have to make sure our thoughts are a trend. We don’t have to edit our past versions of ourselves because they are valid. They still exist. As long as we are healing those parts of ourselves and nurturing the work to become better versions of ourselves, I think the ghosts can stay.

Therapy is a process

I’ve been going to therapy for almost a year now and it’s been hard to write for this blog because I’ve uncovered so much. I didn’t feel like I was qualified to share these lessons I was learning because I hadn’t mastered them myself. It’s the growing mountain of perfectionism that still haunts me. Through therapy, I’ve been able to tap into past versions of myself. We are now a council of Monica’s. (No you’re not invited to our meetings, find your own council.) I’ve discovered that even in my own council I am trying to take care of past versions of me. It’s not until one of them asks me what I need now that I remember I am still another version of me. Present.

When we spend our lives catering to others, it can be hard to realize that you matter too. For now, I like to know there are different versions of me advising you or inspiring you in the right moment. We are all in different seasons of life. Maybe you’ll stumble across this blog and find that beliefs from 15-year-old Monica are resonating with you. Maybe 25-year-old Monica is inspiring you to travel somewhere new. Maybe 28-year-old Monica is helping you fall in love with reading again. Whoever you come across, they’re all a part of me.

Change is a good thing

Your beliefs will change throughout your life, that’s a good thing. What’s important to remember is the growth it took to get there. Maybe you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship and you don’t know the first step in learning how to be on your own. Maybe for the first time in your adult life you’re asking yourself what you actually love to do. Maybe you’ve surpassed your ability to grow and you’re ready to receive. My hope is my words (past, present, and future) plant a seed. They inspire you to find the lovely life that’s meant for you.

I’m no longer concerned with editing past versions of myself. I embrace every single Monica on the council (I know it’s giving vampire vibes but this is how my brain works). So whoever you meet, whoever guides you in your path, whether it’s me or someone else that’s offering you guidance, embrace the seed but remember that it will only grow if you water it on your own.