Dear Lovely, Give Thanks

I have a bit of reverse psychology for you, but don’t tell your bully Anxiety, okay? I know I’ve been talking about gratitude a lot lately. Maybe I myself have been trying to ease into this holiday season, still knowing 2020 isn’t over and there’s a dark winter ahead of us. (Sorry. Didn’t mean to feed your anxiety.)

Give a little.

I find, that when I’m not feeling my best or I don’t want to be grateful for anything, I give. If I give something, a gift to a friend, advice, a funny letter to my sister in the mail, something that brings joy to someone else—I get a little recharge. I know the last thing you want to do right now is give someone something. They probably don’t deserve it. But you know what could give you a warm smile? Giving something anyway.

Keep boundaries.

Now, I don’t want you to sacrifice your boundaries. This isn’t an opportunity for you to be available to everyone. Boundaries are still on. They are life-saving and very important. I also know I’ve talked about always filling your cup before you fill someone else’s. While I still stand by this rule, sometimes you need a kick start to your cup. To those of you who love to give. Sometimes too much. It’s okay to give this holiday season, even if you’re not feeling it, just don’t give it all.

To give thanks.

The truth is, we could all use a little more giving. It’s not always about receiving. If you can’t feel the gratitude or don’t feel like seeing the positive in anything right now, that’s okay. I do want to offer you a suggestion though, just don’t bite me. What if, you chose one person to prepare a gift package for. Someone who has supported you, someone who did something nice for you this year. If you’re having a hard time thinking of someone right now, a random act of kindness (like a donation) works too.

Now, don’t go all out. You don’t have to prepare the biggest silent auction basket or anything. Maybe you can just send a lovely book. It can be one you read this year and loved, or one that you want to read but haven’t yet. Start a book club with someone. Snail mail feels really good right now. Say thank you in the form of a distant, thoughtful hug.

With love,