Self-love isn’t selfish

There’s a common misconception about self-love. I myself am guilty of this belief. For a long time, the definition of self-love was in fact selfish. How could you spend so much time on yourself? Didn’t that mean that you were literally choosing yourself over putting others first? Is self-love really selfish?

Over the years, I learned that self-love did not mean selfishness. In fact, it means to love. How can we love the world, the people in our lives, without learning how to love ourselves? How can we expect anyone to love us if we do not know how to love ourselves?

Self-love is working on yourself

The idea or concept of taking the time to work on yourself does not mean you drop everything and isolate yourself. Working on yourself simply means that you make time for yourself. If you’re flying full speed ahead without taking a moment in your day to check in on yourself, you’re not going to be able to serve others as much as you want to.

Working on yourself can be anything from taking five minutes out of your day to journal, ask yourself how you’re feeling. Putting your thoughts to a page is a form of therapy. Take the time to spill them. They’re probably bottled up inside. It’s okay to let them out.

Working on yourself is mostly doing what you’ve always wanted to do and reflecting on the fear and anxiety that has been holding you back. Remember the action item list? This is where you start crossing things off that list.

Self-love is looking within

The only moment of isolation you might incounter in your self-love journey is when you take the time to look within. When you heal yourself, you are able to use that growth to help others. How is self-love selfish if you’re trying to be the best version of yourself? Surely you’re planning on sharing that lovely person with others.

Some people don’t like to look within because they feel selfish, but if you’re losing relationships, you actually need to look within. You need to work on yourself so you’re not selfish to other people. If you take the time to take care of yourself, you’ll be asking what can I do for you, not what can this person do for me?